Sleep... A completely inadequate substitute for caffeine.
Insanity isn't a disease, it's a way of life.
Hi This is my friend Jack Shit and you don't know him.
Accept risk. Accept responsibility. Put a lawyer out of business.
Those that can, do. Those who cannot, fake it.
"I like children, I just can't eat a whole one." --3fingersalute.net
All opinions are my own - until criticized.
Let me put it this way: today is going to be a learning experience.
"This is the nineties. You don't just go around punching people. You have
to say something cool first." - Joe Hallenbeck, The Last Boy Scout
"Never drink more than 2 Pan Galactic Gargleblasters unless you are a
20 ton Mega-Elephant with bronchial pneumonia." --Zaphod Beeblebrox
no such thing as breakfast lasagne. It's just plain wrong."
Girls really do know just what they want - you to figure it out for yourself!
The grass is always greener on TV.
Hey, back off before I get mad and you have to kick my ass. You'd feel
I don't need drugs. I'm messed up enough already.
"You are the universal nexus of sarcasm." --Ross Osenbau
I should start doing drugs, just so I have an excuse for acting so odd.
So, basically guys are just social power tools?
Lotteries are a tax for people who suck at math.
I'm sorry. Did I run over your dogma?
Just because no one in their right mind would wear it, doesn't make it
There are few problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application
of high explosives.
I'm out of my mind right now, but feel free to leave a message.....
This is my friend Murphy. I'll let you two get aquanted.
I found eternal happiness! Whoops, I just lost it
I summon the unholy demons of apathy, sarcasm & cynicism.
I love Mondays. On a Monday, anything is possible.
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is NPR! And that means....it's time for
a drum solo!" --They Might Be Giants
You can create your own opportunities this week. Blackmail
a senior executive.
"What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?" ---Hobbes
you have night vision goggles the gazelles have no chance against you.
kind of a planetary epidemic." --Willow from Buffy the Vampire
is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure."
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former." --Albert Einstein
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it."
"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." --Napoleon
Never underestimate the power of ignorant people, especially in large
"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've
never tried before." --Mae West
may be drunk, but you're ugly, and tommorow I'll be sober" --Winston
Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?" --Will
you are going through hell, keep going." --Sir Winston Churchill
had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it." --Groucho Marx
"I am captain sarcasm... dun da da daaa
holy vengence, captain sarcasm unleashes the greatley feared
sardonic terror bolt... PEW PEW PEW " --Ross Osenbau
"Don't juggle the nitroglycerine" --Carl Lebsack
"Oh Bother said the
Borg. We assimilated Pooh."
of Borg are we: Futile is resistance. Assimilate you, we will."
everyone on my system, and then, I fingered myself.
crash is a tragedy. A million crashes is a Microsoft Product.
the firewall, Out the modem, Past the server, Through the router, Down
the wire, NOTHING BUT NET.
Blowing stuff up is my anti-drug. -3fingersalute.net
average desktop computer user has the IQ of a lobotomized flatworm.
So Linus, what are we doing tonight? The same thing we every night Tux.
Try to take over the world!
All software is flawed. All hardware is flawed. If you haven't learned
that yet, then you haven't been in tech.
We need guns. Lots of guns. --Neo, "The Matrix"
people like Tim McVeigh that ruin explosives for the rest of us." --Colin
"You're trying to reason with
me. I don't fall for that any more." --3fingersalute.net
"Engineers aren't boring people; we just get excited over boring
It is not a good idea generally to annoy a computer cracker, but it is
a very bad idea to annoy a group of computer crackers bent on impressing
says its important to be yourself. I say don't be yourself' create yourself.
Make yourself who you want to be, not who you are expected to be. Just
a thought." --Me
"Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions
- it only guarantees equality of opportunity. " --Irving Kristol
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
--Thomas Alva Edison
"If you are going through hell, keep going." --Sir Winston Churchill
of Life Number 2: Remember, it can all go to hell at any minute. --Jimmy
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."
"Idealists don't get much done witthout a few pragmatists running interference for them"
your body is a temple; however, it's also your dancehall and bowling alley"
"Do, or do not. There is no 'try'." --Master Yoda (The Empire
"Every life has its points of fixity, certain small stillnesses in the
incessancy of the world that anchor us with a sense of continuity and
location." --Ted Leeson "The Habit of Rivers"
"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. "
is about making mistakes. Dying is about wishing you had made more."
"Life is the process of finding out too late that which should
have been painfully obvious to you in the first place." --Travis
you just have to wait to see what happens, instead of getting there and
being disappointed when things turn out differently." --Aelgifa
"Every great mind is
faced with the decision to either take over the world or defend it. But
is there really a difference?" --Carl Lebsack
"May the fulfilment come from the journey, not the destination."
amount of shrinkage is inversely proporsional to the temperature of the
"When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached
to the rest of the world." --John Muir
"Whitewater doesn't mean frozen with snow on top"
God bless America. Let's save some of it. --Edward
It is not enough to understand the natural world; the point is to defend
preserve it. --Edward Abbey
A true conservative must necessarily be a conservationalist. --Edward
Saving the world was merely a hobby. My *vocation* has been that of
inspector of desert water holes. --Edward
Wilderness is not a luxury but a necessity of the human spirit. --Edward