|The Stumpy'isms 1.0|
Thoughts From a Hotshot Crew
Working on a shot crew is like living in a high school locker room.
If they aren't a hotshot they must be lazy.
A hotshot crew does more before breakfast than most people do all day.
Sawyers always tell diggers how easy they have it; how come none of them want to be diggers?
Everyone knows that a Superintendent doesn't do much besides hike, but his or her job is to make sure you do.
You can always tell a shot crew from all the other crews. You can smell them coming, and they look like they just rose from the dead.
If you see a guy at the bar after a fire that looks like a bum and is dead drunk, take pity on him. He's only a hotshot on his day off.
Ladies, if you see a hotshot staring, drooling, and slack-jawed; be nice to him. He hasn't seen civilization, let alone something that looks half as good as you, for weeks.
If you see a man in green pants and a bright yellow shirt who tells you he is a firefighter, you know he isn't a hotshot.
If you have a girlfriend and you're on a hotshot crew, you can bet you won't at the end of the summer.
If your girlfriend actually lasts a season you know you found the one.
The real reason hotshots disdain smokejumpers is because they are afraid to throw their asses out of an airplane.
If the line is black on both sides; you can bet it is jumper line.
The best hotshots are strong and dumb.
No matter how many times you tell Grandma you are a hotshot, you will always be a smokejumper.
No matter how many times you tell Grandma you are a hotshot, she will tell her friends you jump out of airplanes onto forest fires for a living.
To stay in this business very long you have to have the mentality of a 13 year old and the social life of a 3 year old.
The longer you work for the Forest Service, the dumber you get.
If you only want to work 6 months out of the year, boy have I got a job for you!
How many stupid things can you do during a day? Join a shot crew and find out.
If you hear the term "Wilderness Fire" look for a place to hide!
What's worse than running out of food for a hotshot? Running out of chew.
A good night for a hotshot means he has 2 sleeping bags.
You can tell jumpers are messed up by the facts that: 1) they jump out of perfectly good airplanes 2) they want 50% of their ranks to be women.
Who is crazier than a hotshot? A tanker pilot of course!
I am the white child of a black father, I bring tears to the eyes of those who are not sad and can fly to the highest heavens. Who am I? Smoke
Another word for lazy. Staging
Why do helitack crews like to have hotshot crew staged at their base? Because they can get all that work done that they've been thinking about doing all summer.
If a tool is sharp at the end of the day, you know it belongs to one of the overhead.
2 words a shot crew never wants to hear: Mop Up
Helitackers merely open the door on a shot crew's cab.
Portatank - A hotshot bathtub.
Rookie - The guy that does everything no one else wants to do.
190 - the number of pushups you will be doing if you are a fill-in and don't learn names.
Fill In - The one guy lower in the pecking order than a rookie.
Hide The Hotshot - what hotshots play when all the work is done on a fire.
How do you tell if a guy has to be babysat? Look at his boots.
A hotshot's favorite words. Dozer Time